Real Skills for Real Relationships

Strong & Connected is a Relational Life Therapy coaching practice helping people who care deeply about their relationships learn the skills that were never taught.

British Columbia & Ontario | Online across Canada

Capable People, Missing Skills

Most of the people who come to us are intelligent, motivated, and care deeply about the people in their lives. What they're missing isn't effort — it's relational skills that were never taught.

They're stuck in patterns of conflict, shutdown, resentment, or emotional distance. They know something needs to change, but willpower alone isn't working. The same arguments keep surfacing. The distance keeps growing. And the harder they try with the tools they have, the more stuck things feel.

Strong & Connected exists to bridge that gap — to give people practical, teachable skills that transform how they relate to the people who matter most.

Build emotional strength, take responsibility, and create real connection.

— The Strong & Connected philosophy
3 Audiences Couples, Men & Teen Boys
2 Provinces BC & Ontario
100% Online Anywhere in Canada

Three Groups, One Goal: Genuine Connection

Whether you're navigating conflict as a couple, growing as a man, or supporting a teen boy, the work always comes back to the same foundation: learning to show up with honesty, accountability, and care.

For Couples

Working with couples who feel stuck in repeating conflict, emotional distance, or power struggles and want real tools to change how they relate.

Common reasons couples come to us:

  • Arguments that escalate or never resolve
  • Trust or connection that has eroded
  • Resentment or withdrawal setting in
  • Uncertainty about the relationship's future

What coaching focuses on:

  • Identifying destructive relationship patterns
  • Learning to regulate emotion during conflict
  • Building accountability without blame
  • Repairing ruptures and rebuilding trust

Also offering discernment (stay-or-go) coaching for couples who want clarity rather than pressure.

Learn About Couples Coaching

For Men

Working with men who want to be stronger, steadier, and more effective in their relationships — without losing themselves in the process.

Reasons men seek this work:

  • Struggle with communication, anger, or shutdown
  • Feel disconnected from partner, kids, or purpose
  • Navigating separation, divorce, or transitions
  • Tired of repeating the same patterns

What coaching builds:

  • Emotional regulation under pressure
  • Clear, grounded communication
  • Accountability without shame
  • Relational leadership and self-respect

This work is direct, practical, and designed for real life.

Learn About Men's Coaching

For Teen Boys

Supporting boys ages 10–17 who are struggling emotionally, behaviourally, or relationally — and the parents who want to help them grow.

Issues this work helps address:

  • Acting out or shutting down emotionally
  • Struggling with anger, anxiety, or motivation
  • Power struggles with parents or school
  • Feeling misunderstood or discouraged

Coaching builds:

  • Emotional regulation and self-control
  • Accountability without humiliation
  • Communication and repair skills
  • Confidence and self-respect

Parents are supported and involved as appropriate. The goal is to help boys grow into grounded, responsible young men.

Learn About Teen Coaching

Grounded in Relational Life Therapy

Our work is grounded in Relational Life Therapy (RLT), developed by Terry Real. Rather than focusing on who is "right," RLT focuses on what actually works to restore connection, respect, and integrity in real relationships.

This approach is translated into clear, coaching that fits everyday life — for men, families, and couples.

Emotional Regulation

Learning to stay grounded under pressure instead of reacting from old patterns of defensiveness or withdrawal. Adult-to-adult relating.

Interrupting Losing Strategies

Identifying and stopping the defensiveness, control, withdrawal, or contempt that keep relationships stuck in the same place.

Responsibility for Impact

Shifting from intention to impact. Understanding how your behaviour lands — not just what you meant by it.

Repair Through Action

Repairing relationships through changed behaviour, not just conversation. Balancing compassion with clear expectations.

Direct, Respectful & Grounded

This is not about fixing people. It's about helping them show up differently.

01

Skills-Based, Not Insight-Only

We don't just explore feelings. We teach concrete tools for communication, emotional regulation, and conflict repair that you can use in real conversations tonight.

02

Focused on Patterns, Not Pathology

Nobody here is broken. We help you see the destructive cycles — the defensiveness, criticism, shutdown — and build new ones in their place.

03

Accountability Meets Compassion

We hold space for your experience while also being honest about what needs to change. Growth happens at the intersection of support and challenge.

04

Oriented Toward Real Change

The goal isn't endless sessions. It's equipping you with the relational skills to navigate life's challenges on your own — with clarity and confidence.

Photo Coming Soon
Training Relational Life Therapy Institute
Education M.A. Clinical Psychology (in progress)
Background 20+ years as a business lawyer

Meet Koby Smutylo

A former business lawyer turned relationship coach, Koby brings a rare combination of pragmatic problem-solving and deep empathy to his work with clients.

After 20 years of watching people navigate conflict in high-stakes legal settings, Koby saw the same dynamics playing out in personal relationships — defensiveness, power struggles, and communication breakdowns. He shifted his career to help people build the relational skills that actually matter.

Grounded in Relational Life Therapy and currently pursuing a Master's in Clinical Psychology, Koby works with couples, men, and teen boys throughout British Columbia, Ontario, and across Canada. His approach combines compassion with accountability — honest, direct, and always in service of real connection.

Read Koby's Full Story

Start With a Free Consultation

If you're considering coaching for yourself, your son, or your relationship, the best next step is a conversation.

A consultation is a no-pressure conversation to:

Talk Openly

Share what's not working — without judgement or pressure.

Identify Patterns

Begin to see the cycles keeping you stuck — and what might shift.

Decide Together

Figure out whether this approach is the right fit for your situation.

Ready to Build Something Stronger?

Whether you're a couple stuck in old patterns, a man looking to grow relationally, or a parent concerned about your teen — the first step is a conversation.

No pressure. No obligation. Just clarity.